The Night Before Christmas
A Poem by Jim Nasium
It was the night before Christmas
and all over my house
I saw little black pellets
droppings from that damn mouse
He's eaten the cheese
I put in the traps
seems all this mouse does
is eats and craps
I went to the pet store
thought I'd buy me a cat
one in excellent shape
not flabby and fat
I brought the cat home
let him loose in the house
then I went to bed
prayed the cat would get the mouse
I started to doze off
drifting into a dream
when I was startled
with what sounded like a scream
I put on my slippers
and my house coat too
went down the steps quietly
not knowing what to do
I flipped on the light
and to my surprise
I saw my new cat
he had cuts over his eyes
His nose was bleeding
all his whiskers cut off
he tried to mee-oww
but all he could do was cough
I picked him up
sat down with him on my lap
very carefully took his tail
out of the mouse trap
I knew what had happened
that mouse won round one
then I got an idea
that should be great fun
II.
I went back to the pet store
and bought five more cats
a hawk and an owl
and an albino bat
The mouse was going to die
and tonight was the night
I hurried back home
ran through a red light
A cop pulled me over
I told him my tale
he didn't give me a ticket
there was no need for bail
I finally got home
with all my new pets
the mouse is as good as gone
I'm taking all bets
I made some hot tea
and went back to bed
visions of a dead mouse
danced in my head
Since I was so tired
I feel asleep fast
but to my disappointment
my sleep didn't last
A loud bang woke me
something fell to the floor
I heard such a ruckus
like never before
I put on my slippers
knew what I had to do
grabbed my saw off shotgun
and extra shells too
I went down the steps
flying through the air
I turned on the lights
and no one was there
The owl ate the bat
the hawk ate a cat
then they flew away
their belly's real fat
The cats were all missing
but sitting there on the floor
was the mouse laughing at me
right by the front door
Don't know how he did it
but the mouse won round two
it was late and I was tired
so this battle was through
My house was in ruins
and I still had the mouse
so I went to a motel
I couldn't sleep in that house
It was the night before Christmas
I'm sitting in a motel
my home is destroyed
I guess I'd better sell...
©2005 Jim Nasium
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