A Few Limericks 8
By Jim Nasium

A Limerick: A light or humorous verse form of five chiefly anapestic verses of which lines one, two and five are of three feet and lines three and four are of two feet, with a rhyme scheme of aabba. The limerick, named for a town in Ireland of that name, was popularized by Edward Lear in his Book of Nonsense published in 1846.

TRADITIONS: 9 Limericks

TRADITIONS 1

Traditions can be a real pain
some of them are damn near insane
like on Holidays
going to plays
and walking out in the cold rain
and:

TRADITIONS 2

Traditions folks have adhered to
are always there waiting for you
so carry them on
and try to be strong
doing the best that you can do
and:

TRADITIONS 3

Traditions traditionally
just don't do very much for me
get a real grasp
forget the past
try something new to set you free
and:

TRADITIONS 4

Traditions passed down from the past
can be silly or a real blast
some make sense
knowing whence
they came from and that they will last

and:


TRADITIONS 5

Traditions praticied in my family
to this very day are still good for me
a nice family meal
will help one to heal
around the table's a nice place to be
and:

TRADITIONS 6

Traditions praticed on holidays
are still carried out the same old ways
one things for certain
you will be hurting
if you do change tradition some days
and:

TRADITIONS 7

Traditions all over the whole world
can get mixed up and a little swirlled
but to my suprise
I've got happy eyes
so far today I still haven't hurled
and:

TRADITIONS 8

Traditions traditionally suck
lets face it none will bring you good luck
to mother and father
they are not a bother
but I don't like goose, lamb, or baked duck
and:

TRADITIONS 9

Traditions in my family
always worked real well for me
on holidays
every thing stays
exactly the way it should be

************

MIDWEEK 1

Midweek late one early summers night
I decided that I would just might
go down the way
hang out and stay
laid back hiding way out of plain sight
and:

MIDWEEK 2

Midweek on a day just like today
I went on down the way just to play
it was kind'a neat
hanging on the street
I like to visit but don't want to stay
and:

MIDWEEK 3

Midweek comes round every seven days
I don't care if midweek goes or stays
surrounded by sound
when I go downtown
tickets are cheaper for midweek plays
and:

MIDWEEK 4

Midweek seems to stay here with me
things aren't the way I'd have them be
each day is the same
tired, weak and lame
but at least my spirit is free
and:

MIDWEEK 5

Midweek is not such a rotten time
folks are tired and commit less crime
the streets are quiet
you can't deny it
there's a whole lot less low life slime
and:

MIDWEEK 6

Midweek mid summer one midnight
I sat by my monitors light
passing time by
my muse and I
just don't think it's wrong to write right
and:

MIDWEEK 7

Midweek isn't much fun if you work
or sit by your computer and lurk
time goes by slow
and so you'll know
as I write this I'm wearing a smirk


**************

MY BEDDING 1

My bedding may soon be for sale
the headboard, mattress and rail
a hospital bed
I'll use instead
since I'm tried, weak and so frail
and

MY BEDDING 2

"My bedding is a comfort" I've said
I'm safe when I'm in my own bed
so nice and warm
safe from the storm
dreams of days gone by fill my head
and:

MY BEDDING 3

My bedding is the best you can buy
I fall asleep and don't even try
when I hit the sack
there's no coming back
because in my dreams I can fly
and:

MY BEDDING 4

My bedding is contemnor
and it was given to me for free
friends own the store
when I want more
I can go pick any thing I see
and:

MY BEDDING 5

My bedding has got to be clean
I am sure you know what I mean
after a hot night
of holding you tight
a wet spot forms right on the scene
and:

MY BEDDING 6

My bedding is warm and clean
I'm sure you know what I mean
changed every day
I got to say
my sleep time is pretty lean
and

MY BEDDING 7

My bedding awaits my sore body
a very safe place for me to be
when I rest my head
you'd think I was dead
because it takes a lot to wake me
and
MY BEDDING

My bedding has a nice wood head board
with a notch for each time that I scored
so if you want to
there's a spot for you
if you need to be loved and adored

**************

YOUR SLEDDING 1

Your sledding is bringing me down
I watch you and feel like a clown
I'm just too old
not very bold
I don't know why I hang around
and:

YOUR SLEDDING 2

Your sledding keeps you busy all day
and I do not want to hear you say
you have no fun
when you are done
because all you do lately is play
and:

YOUR SLEDDING 3

Your sledding with friends down the hill
when it's snowing gives you a thrill
you may dress real warm
while out in the storm
yet I fear you will take a spill
and:

YOUR SLEDDING 4

Your sledding takes a toll on me
this is not the way it should be
you're in a hurry
while I just worry
because you go to fast to see
and:

YOUR SLEDDING 5

Your sledding with friends all day long
helps you to grow real big and strong
you may not care
but that fresh air
could never do you any wrong
and:

YOUR SLEDDING 6

Your sledding is really scaring me
you go way to fast for me to see
try to slow down
on frozen ground
before you crash into a big tree
and:

YOUR SLEDDING 7

Your sledding down the old Killer Hill
is OK if you don't take a spill
now I am not pushing
but you need some cushion
sooner or later I know you will

**************

RELAXING 1

Relaxing alone in the sun room
the flowers are all starting to bloom
they look real neat
and smell so sweet
they remind me a bit of perfume
and:

RELAXING 2

Relaxing is good for your head
why not spend the whole day in bed
forget the time
it's not a crime
no matter what any one said
and:

RELAXING 3

Relaxing out side under the sun
eating a fresh baked cinnamon bun
while reading a book
that I just took
as a gift from a kind local nun
and:

RELAXING 4

Relaxing all day long recently
is really starting to get to me
I feel like a jerk
because I can't work
this is not the way I'd have things be
and:

RELAXING 5

Relaxing is good for your heart
if you don't then it's time to start
sitting quietly
just watching TV
eating snack food that makes you fart
and:

RELAXING 6

Relaxing alone here with you
is something that I love to do
we cuddle up
with our new pup
who wants to go out side to poo
and:

RELAXING 7

Relaxing can be a lot of fun
after your hard day of work is done
have a hot meal
then you will feel
much better and not under the gun
and:

RELAXING 8

Relaxing is hard for me to do
after all that I have just been through
please do not gawk
since I can't walk
just hope this never happens to you
and:

RELAXING 9

Relaxing relaxes your soul
and helps you to feel more than whole
sit there real quiet
you won't denigh it
life can some times take a real toll

**************

THE BEACHES 1

The beaches I see on TV
look really beautiful to me
the sand is white
and late at night
it's a wonderful place to be
and:

THE BEACHES 2

The beaches that surround a place
that is gone now with out a trace
are waiting to
become a new
and see you and your pretty face
and:

THE BEACHES 3

The beaches that we have around here
are dirty and the waters not clear
they are too crowded
and if you doubt it
maybe you should take time to go there
and:

THE BEACHES 4

The beaches not too far from my home
on an island that I once would roam
were all pure white
and late at night
would be loaded with some weird sea foam
and:

THE BEACHES 5

The beaches you see in a movie
all look fun and must be real groovy
but where can they be
and are they all free
to a tourist or a real newbie
and:

THE BEACHES 6

The beaches I saw way down in Peru
are real good for swimming and surfing too
the waves are large
and as a barge
floats by you try to find something to do
and:

THE BEACHES 7

The beaches in Colombia S A
are a wonderful place to stay and play
the sun's pretty hot
and there just is not
any one thing that will get in your way
and:

THE BEACHES 8

The beaches way down in Ecuador
are gray and black and in fact what's more
they've the puka shell
any one can sell
if they know what puka shells are for
and:

THE BEACHES 9

The beaches that I saw in my past
so pretty the memory will last
forever and a day
so what more can I say
but my time there went by way too fast
and:

THE BEACHES 10

The beaches that allow dogs to run free
are not the best place for humans to be
and if you knew why
I know you would cry
and pray the poo would get washed out to sea

**************

WHAT PROGRESS 1

What progress I make every day
is just what makes me want to stay
don't want to die
want to get high
and go out in the sun to play
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 2

What progress might mean to any man
may be hard for me to understand
it's not always good
and just like I should
I am ready and do have a plan
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 3

What progress I've made in the past
may just not be able to last
I'm getting weaker
and need a seeker
and time goes by so very fast
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 4

What progress is to this modern age
has Mother Nature all in a rage
she's so upset
and you can bet
that life is much more than just a stage
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 5

What progress made in the third world
has got simple peoples minds swirled
now they wear shoes
and got the blues
paint their nails and get their hair curled
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 6

What progress is to one just might be
the end of the world if you can see
the earth is a garden
and I beg your pardon
but humans were meant to live care free
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 7

What progress we have made this year
leaves us both with nothing to fear
everything's ok
it is a good day
there's no reason to shed a tear
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 8

What progress mans made out in space
can you see the smile on his face
out in the stars
even on Mars
still searching for a better place
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 9

What progress we have made as mere men
can be debated again my friend
if is it good
and if you could
would do the thing over again


**************

SOME TRAFFIC 1

Some traffic that passes by here
comes way too close and I do fear
the volume will grown
in case you don't know
the car exhaust makes my eyes tear
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 2

Some traffic stuck on an exit ramp
the other day when foggy and damp
just stood real s
till I took a pill
and then picked up some hitch hiking tramp
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 3

Some traffic I was in the other day
was really starting to get in my way
I beeped my horn
as if to warn
others to pick a lane and in it stay
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 4

Some traffic forms a bottle neck
which of course can lead to a wreck
I'm tired and spent
from my accident
but no one seems to give a heck
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 5

Some traffic on the local expressway
was tied up for hours the other day
it just wasn't fair
too much sun glare
blinded people; at least that's what they say
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 6

Some traffic on the busy turnpike
whizzed by me while I tried to hitch hike
no one would stop
expect a cop
but he was riding a motor bike
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 7

Some traffic out during rush hour
moves slower than any old flower
growing in the sun
and it is no fun
when we are having a snow shower
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 8

Some traffic I was in the other day
moved really slow and just got in my way
what the fuck!!
I was stuck
and in the bottle neck I had to stay
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 9

Some traffic reporters have said
drive carefully or you'll be dead
please just take it slow
where ever you go
don't use gasoline that has lead

**************

DEMOCRACY 1

Democracy is a good thing indeed
so spread the word and try to plant the seed
where ever you go
so others will know
for our freedom we are willing to bleed
and:

DEMOCRACY 2

Democracy is so democratic
I've got some trouble with my sciatic
when it is damp
I get a cramp
and my TV is nothing but static
and:

DEMOCRACY 3

Democracy seems to work ok
or at least that's what some people say
and you can gloat
because you vote
I think I'll stay in the USA
and:

DEMOCRACY 4

Democracy for all I heard them say
and in fact it was just the other day
but what do they know
and where do they go
when they go out all night to get away
and:

DEMOCRACY 5

Democracy is real good for us all
in a corner with your back to the wall
please do take note
you can go vote
and make a change to everything you saw
and:

DEMOCRACY 6

Democracy is a wonderful thing
you can't hear the cracked Liberty Bell ring
it hasn't been fixed
since seventy six
when the city had a bell ringing fling

**************

LESS CARNAGE 1

Less carnage I hear the people scream
and I am sure they are all a team
it last all night
why do they fight
I'm wondering if this is a dream
and:

LESS CARNAGE 2

Less carnage is a very good plan
it is time that we all understand
and face up to facts
we need to relax
since we all have taken a firm stand
and:

LESS CARNAGE 3

Less carnage than we all had before
is exactly what fate had in store
for all gods people
and a church steeple
why you laying face down on the floor
and:

LESS CARNAGE 4

Less carnage would slow things way down
to give time to a circus clown
just to relax
and face the facts
clowns aren't popular in this town
and:

LESS CARNAGE

Less carnage would be a real good thing
perhaps someone should talk to the King
this has to stop
we need a cop
the noise is so loud both my ears ring

**************

CORRECTIONS 1

Corrections were decided upon
as beautiful as a pure white swan
that floats on a lake
so make no mistake
between us and nature there's a bond
and:

CORRECTIONS 2

Corrections corrected correctly
where marked in bright red for me to see
yet try as I might
I can't get it right
aren't things exactly as they should be
and:

CORRECTIONS 3

Corrections are a part of writing
there's no need for all of this fighting
so use spell check
and what the heck
please send something in enlighting
and:

CORRECTIONS 4

Corrections corrected the mess
the manager had to confess
it was all his fault
he's locked in the vault
deciding to take more or less
and:

CORRECTIONS 5

Corrections that must now be made
will help me to make the best grade
so by the lamp light
I study all night
until dawns light causes night to fade
and:

CORRECTIONS 6

Corrections facilities are the pits
everyone there is doing their own bits
time goes so slow
and so you know
just to survive you got to use your wits
and:

CORRECTIONS 7

Corrections officers are the worse
it as if they can all cast a curse
they are so large
and they're in charge
to get along you must fill their purse

**************

SECURITY 1

Security is what I want
don't piss and moan or even grunt
take care of me
and you will see
I know when to hit and to bunt
and:

SECURITY 2

Security cost a pretty penny
yet it is used by ever so many
windows and doors
mats on the floors
are monitored by someone called Lenny
and:

SECURITY 3

Security just don't come cheap
it's hard to hold on to and keep
but it's so good
and so you should
not go in the water too deep
and:

SECURITY 4

Security at the big game
was lacking a lot and real lame
the guards were all drunk
they stunk like a skunk
wondering just who they could blame
and:

SECURITY 5

Security is a good thing
for presidents, queens and a king
but what about me
It's so clear to see
I'm not just here today to sing
and:

SECURITY 6

Security is tighter than before
and I don't think I can take too much more
just to get through
they must search you
making you drop your pants down to the floor
and:

SECURITY 7

Security alarms are in place
and they are hidden with out a trace
they're watching you
things that you do
and the smile on your pretty face
and:

SECURITY 8

Security secured by some guards
that have to stand outside in front yards
keeping their eye
on the bad guy
asking for things like their ID cards
and:

SECURITY 9

Security is the issue any more
they will search you right when you walk in the door
they got a selector
a metal detector
they want to know exactly what you came for

**************

BIG WARFARES 1

Big warfares continue to grow
the media lets us all know
what they want to
they lie to you
and leave no other place to go
and:

BIG WARFARES 2

Big warfares through out History
to me remain a mystery
they all had a plan
I don't understand
like a cold wind so blistery
and:

BIG WARFARES 3

Big warfares create great big trouble
we need to get fixed on the double
let's call a cease
try to find peace
and break the old war mongers bubble
and:

BIG WARFARES 4

Big warfares demand a real good plan
that's not really hard to understand
you need the right knack
planning the attack
to kill woman child and man
and:

BIG WARFARES 5

Big warfares go on all the time
I'm not saying it ain't a crime
it's all too bad
and makes me sad
while drinking my rum with some lime
and:

BIG WARFARES 6

Big warfares cost a lot of money
and let's face it that's not too funny
the money we waste
on wars and in space
could go towards a Playboy Bunny

**************

THREE EGGS 1

Three eggs were found real early today
by a boy who went outside to play
he wanted to snoop
in the chicken coop
and that's a good place for him to stay
and:

THREE EGGS 2

Three eggs with some meat and some bread
a breakfast that goes to your head
and lasts all day
what can I say
I think it's time to go back to bed
and:

THREE EGGS 3

Three eggs are all that I have here
the cost of eggs is just too dear
to buy any more
at the corner store
I need my money to buy beer
and:

THREE EGGS 4

Three eggs some veggies and some meat
makes a breakfast I like to eat
fried up in a pan
try to understand
a little garnish makes it neat

and:

THREE EGGS 5

Three eggs in a basket for sale
by an old woman weak and frail
who sat on a stool
looking like a fool
near a cow, telling her sad tale
and:

THREE EGGS 6

Three eggs an omelet just don't make
not at all so make no mistake
you got to add
only a tad
of veggies, cheese and let it bake
and:

THREE EGGS 7

Three eggs gathered fresh this morning
came broken with out a warning
I cooked them up
with a nice cup
of coffee that was adorning

**************

THESE RHYMES 1

These rhymes that you like have found the mark
I like being with you in the dark
all through the night
hugging up tight
until dawn when we hear a dog bark
and:

THESE RHYMES 2

These rhymes I often share here with you
surely prove that I have nothing to do
I sit here and wait
then I hesitate
to make a change or try something new
and:

THESE RHYMES 3

These rhymes we write and like to share
must show that we really do care
sharing is fun
then when we're done
we understand life isn't fair
and:

THESE RHYMES 4

These rhymes my muse helps me to create
come to me when alone very late
I sit in this chair
and I just don't care
if I ever go out on a date
and:

THESE RHYMES 5

These rhymes that I send in just for you
just will not do what I want them to
at least I tried
and I have cried
because it seems you and I are through
and:

THESE RHYMES 6

These rhymes I would read when real young
Mother Goose was a crock of dung
the fly and the spider
made me want to bite her
with only fresh air in my lung
and:

THESE RHYMES 7

These rhymes shared each day on this list
always seem to have the same gist
they got a flow
and so you'll know
my heads spinning while in a mist
and:

THESE RHYMES 8

These rhymes that you read written by me
given by muse to me for free
help pass the time
it is a crime
that things have to be just like they be
and:

THESE RHYMES 9

These rhymes I offer you every day
dance around in my head and they stay
it's me and my muse
so what is the use
trying to forced her to stay away
and:

THESE RHYMES 10

These rhymes I read sent into this list
aimed at the mark do seem to have missed
they're a good try
and you know why
it can be so hard to get the gist

**************

ENTITLED 1

Entitled to think like I should
I do the very best I could
feathered and tarred
I try so hard
not to see the boys in the hood
and:

ENTITLED 2

Entitled to feel like I do
after all that I have been through
it's getting rough
but good I'm tough
and trying hard not to be blue
and:

ENTITLED 3

Entitled to more than you gave
I feel like your little sex slave
and I can see
that you use me
and will soon send me to my grave
and:

ENTITLED 4

Entitled to a little dancing
I am playing along while romancing
a much better life
that is free of strife
actually there's little I am chancing
and:

ENTITLED 5

Entitled to a much better life
maybe I should get myself a wife
she could cook and clean
ya know what I mean
angry words can cut me like a knife
and:

ENTITLED 6

Entitled to things that I need
why must my sad broken heart bleed
you went away
valentines day
left me helpless and feeling treed
and:

ENTITLED 7

Entitled to more than I got
I feel like I am on the spot
under a light
real late at night
what was I saying, I forgot
and:

ENTITLED 8

Entitled to things that are mine
it's getting much harder to find
the golden key
that works for me
and helps me to draw a straight line
and:

ENTITLED 9

Entitled to the sun moon and stars
I would settle for a few new cars
do I have a chance
to find a romance
in one of them sleazy back street bars
and:

ENTITLED 10

Entitled to make a big blunder
thinking of the land that's down under
aborigines
kangaroos and tree
woman moan and the men all thunder
and:

ENTITLED 11

Entitled to anything I want
my new small dog has a favorite stunt
he'll sit and bark
when it gets dark
of the whole litter he was the runt

**************

Ceviche 1

Ceviche is a dish I ate
while in Peru one night real late
soaked in some lime
it cost a dime
and to be honest it was great
and:

Ceviche 1

Ceviche is a great dish
it's made up mostly of fish
soaked in juice
and my muse
is happy to grant my wish

*Ceviche pronounced: Ca vee che
Ceviche is raw fish heavily marinated in lime and lemon juice. The Folkswho make Ceviche in Peru, and other Latin American countries consider thissoaking, cooking

My favorite Ceviche is the shrimp, the lobster, the conch and the white fish. I do not care for the clams, oyster, octopus and squid Ceviche. Also the pieces of fish in ceviche is only a part of the dish. Ceviche is served along with hot peppers, onions peppers and other stuff, whereas sushi is just raw fish.

**************

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 1

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Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 4

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 5

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 6

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 7

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 8

Whatis a Limerick?

A Limerick is A light or humorous verse form of five chiefly anapestic verses of which lines one, two and five are of three feet and lines three and four are of two feet, with a rhyme scheme of aabba. The limerick, named for a town in Ireland of that name, was popularized by Edward Lear in his Book of Nonsense published in 1846.

************

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