A Few Limericks 7
By Jim Nasium

A Limerick: A light or humorous verse form of five chiefly anapestic verses of which lines one, two and five are of three feet and lines three and four are of two feet, with a rhyme scheme of aabba. The limerick, named for a town in Ireland of that name, was popularized by Edward Lear in his Book of Nonsense published in 1846.

BIG TIDAL WAVES1

Big tidal waves are called Tsunami
I heard that from some local swami
he told me a tale
with wind in his sail
then showed me how to do origami

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 2

Big tidal waves hit the islands yesterday
left one hundred fify thousand dead they say
early in the morning
it came with out warning
and there's more rainy weather headed their way

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 3

Big tidal waves can come with out warning
just like they did on yesterday morning
"so many are dead"
that's what they said
and "the rest of here are in mourning"

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 4

Big tidal waves are called Tsunami
I heard that from some local swami
he told me a tale
with wind in his sail
then showed me how to do origami

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 5

Big tidal waves hit the islands yesterday
there are about twentyh thousand dead they say
it came with out warning
early in the morning
and there's more rainy weather headed their way

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 6

Big tidal waves hit the islands yesterday
there are about eight thousand dead folks they say
it came with out warning
early in the morning
and there's more rainy weather headed their way

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 7

Big tidal waves can come with out warning
just like they did on yesterday morning
"so many are dead"
that's what they said
and "the rest of here are in mourning"

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 8

Big tidal waves hit the islands yesterday
there are about twentyh thousand dead they say
it came with out warning
early in the morning
and there's more rainy weather headed their way

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 9

Big tidal waves hit the islands yesterday
there are about eight thousand dead folks they say
it came with out warning
early in the morning
and there's more rainy weather headed their way

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 10

Big tidal waves can come with out warning
just like they did on yesterday morning
"so many are dead"
that's what they said
and "the rest of here are in mourning"

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 11

Big tidal waves hit the islands yesterday
left one hundred fifty thousand dead they say
it came with out warning
early in the morning
and there's more rainy weather headed their way

**************

ADJUSTING 1

Adjusting is not always easy
sometimes it's a little too breezy
so I wear a hat
it makes me look fat
perverted and a little sleazy

and:

ADJUSTING 2

Adjusting to my new condition
wishing to go into remission
I go through every day
staying out of the way
and being sure to ask permission

and

ADJUSTING 3

Adjusting to things that you like
like walking and riding a bike
or talking we two
about things we'll do
like camping and taking a hike

and:

ADJUSTING 4

Adjusting to this brand to diet
I'm not sure why I had to try it
but now that I did
I got to eat squid
and it's always best when I fry it

and:

ADJUSTING 5

Adjusting to adjustments they needed
I stood close by and watched as they bleeded
some stay and some go
but they all had dough
we only wanted to help them kneaded

and:

ADJUSTING 6

Adjusting to the limits of fate
the hours is getting really late
it's almost night
and there's no light
with no doubt I will fall for the bait

and:

ADJUSTING 7

Adjusting to things when they change
recently has made me fell strange
but what can I do
when it's really true
they are closing down the old grange

**************

TO DRIVE 1

To drive back and forth just to work
kind'a makes a guy feel like a jerk
but when he gets paid
he is gonna get laid
and then he'll be wearing a smirk

and:

TO DRIVE 2

To drive across the USA
is a whole lot of fun some say
you stop when you can
to make a new friend
hang out for awhile and play

and:

TO DRIVE 3

To drive any more now a days
it not much fun in many ways
there's too many cars
that have stopped in bars
I'd rather be one of the strays

and:

TO DRIVE 4

To drive on the highway is a mess
and I don't enjoy it I confess
to deal with less fuss
I just take the bus
so I can relax and avoid stress

and:

TO DRIVE 5

To drive a big truck is my dream
I'd paint it yellow, white and cream
out on the highway
each and every day
even though things aren't as they seem

and:

TO DRIVE 6

To drive now a days is not much fun
you're so tired when the drive is done
there's cars every where
and it's just not fair
they just sit still in a line and run

and:

TO DRIVE 7

To drive and to chip and to putt
we're forced to fall into a rut
and avoid our muse
just to pay our dues
being treated like a mutt

**************

PROCEEDING 1

Proceeding to not ruin the whole day
I should be careful about what I say
I broke her heart
she fell apart
I didn't want it to turn out this way

and:

PROCEEDING 2

Proceeding procedures took over
as we all rolled around in the clover
the day passed by
we got real high
and played with some big dog called Rover

and:

PROCEEDING 3

Proceeding to try something new
I thought that I would ask you to
try and understand
I am just a man
and that I never meant to hurt you

and:

PROCEEDING 4

Proceeding to go on vacation
I felt a very strange vibration
it made me think
vacations stink
any where across this great nation

and:

PROCEEDING 5

Proceeding exactly as we planned
the whole things easy to understand
if you just try
and do not cry
about every thing turning to sand

and:

PROCEEDING 6

Proceeding to be totally confused
I feel very tired from being used
I'm not a boy toy
just to bring you joy
you're just so rough with me I'm all bruised

**************

EXCITEMENT 1

Excitement is a wonderful emotion
especially once you get it in motion
the fun never stops
till they call the cops
and you get busted for some magic potion

and:

EXCITEMENT 2

Excitement can be bought at the fair
go on the rides that you can find there
buy yourself a ticket
and be sure stick it
in a safe place with much love and care

and:

EXCITEMENT 3

Excitement can be fun now and then
especially when shared with a friend
so take one along
and sing a gay song
but be sure you are willing to bend

and:

EXCITEMENT 4

Excitement can be a lot of fun
especially when excitement's done
the it's time to rest
and I will confess
I know when to walk and when to run

and:

EXCITEMENT 5

Excitement excites me you see
like when I'm watching my TV
I hear a gun shot
I'm froze in one spot
and know this is no place to be

and:

EXCITEMENT 6

Excitement isn't good for my health
is takes away from my charm and stealth
leaves me confused
with real bad blues
and doesn't do a thing for my wealth

and:

EXCITEMENT 7

Excitement has so excited me
things are exactly as they should be
I'm a nervous wreck
but then what the heck
what else would you expect to get free

**************

CONFETTI 1

Confetti lay all over the street
and the children thought that it was neat
but it was a mess
yet I will confess
it was a real special kind of treat

and:

CONFETTI 2

Confetti came out of the horn
that they blew real early that morn
the first of the year
a day for good cheer
when a another new year is born

and:

CONFETTI 3

Confetti drifted down thick from the sky
a celebration for special guy
ticker tape parade
and a masquerade
but no one there said they even knew why

and:

CONFETTI 4

Confetti has it's use at a party
where good friends get to celebrate hearty
and talk of good times
drinking rum with limes
not one of them came early or tardy

and:

CONFETTI 5

Confetti floats on air like it had wings
parties over when the fat lady sings
a sweet goodbye song
that won't last too long
she'll give you goose bumps and all kind of things

and:

CONFETTI 6

Confetti and rice comes in handy
when you're at a wedding dressed dandy
throw it real hard
out in the yard
right at her and her husband Randy

**************

LIFE'S KINDNESS 1

Life's kindness is so kind to me
just the way I like it to be
I always feel glad
and I'm never sad
now that my soul has been set free

and:

LIFE'S KINDNESS 2
Life's kindness makes us what we are
a laborer or super star
find your station
in this great nation
stick to it and you will go far

and:

LIFE'S KINDNESS 3

Life's kindness is not hard to find
if you keep your nose to the grind
work hard everyday
go on your way
knowing you're not stuck in a bind

and:

LIFE'S KINDNESS 4

Life's kindness hit me on the head
the doctors thought I would be dead
but I proved them wrong
and just move along
forgetting everything they said

and:

LIFE'S KINDNESS 5

Life's kindness has been good to me
it's allowed my soul to be free
so now I care
try to be fair
just the way I know I should be

and:

LIFE'S KINDNESS 6

Life's kindness is not hard to find
it's really just a state of mind
get your head right
and then you might
find life's kindness can be so kind

**************

MY WEEKENDS 1

My weekends are a whole lot like yours
I turn off the phone and lock the doors
and stay in this room
preparing for doom
because when it rain it always pours

and:

MY WEEKENDS 2
My weekends seem to last me all week
maybe some time you will get a peek
and get some enjoyment
so make an appointment
but be warned I'm not humble or meek

and:

MY WEEKENDS 3

My weekends are exactly the same
as all the week days in this here game
that I must play
day after day
only wanting some fortune and fame

and:

MY WEEKENDS 4

My weekends are slow as can be
they drag out and are so empty
each days the same
tired, weak and lame
nothing new is coming to me

and:

MY WEEKENDS 5

My weekends are special to me
there's no place that I have to be
the hours drag by
and I wonder why
things aren't clear and I can not see

and:

MY WEEKENDS 6

My weekends are just like one long night
and sometimes I think that I just might
go a little insane
while walking in the r
ain but you can bet I'll put up a fight

and:

MY WEEKENDS 7

My weekends are slightly insane
all kinds of things float in my brain
I see white light
into the night
at least I don't feel any pain

**************

MUCH BLAME 1

Much blame and shame came all at once
I stood there feeling like a dunce
but what could I say
as you went away
last time you left it was for months

and:

MUCH BLAME 2

Much blame follows me all the time
it's got to be a freaking crime
but what can I do
when I'm trying to
just stay away from low life slime

and:

MUCH BLAME 3

Much blame for the things that went wrong
no credit for writing the song
I feel abused
and some what us
ed and don't think I will last too long

and:

MUCH BLAME 4

Much blame seemed to some how find me
the whole thing was a mystery
I was so young
laughed when you sung
but today that's all history

and:

MUCH BLAME 5
Much blame falls on me just because
it's easy to see I have flaws
but I am still growing
and soon will be knowing
the real deal about Santa Clause

and:

MUCH BLAME 6

Much blame can be a heavy load
which makes you jump just like a toad
and when you spoke
you said croak croak
all night long your croaking just flowed

and:

MUCH BLAME 7
Much blame will have to go some where
perhaps it will teach us to care
but then again
my dear old friend
that won't help us to learn to share

and:

MUCH BLAME 8
Much blame can be put on someone
for allowing us to have fun
when it was late
we tempted fate
and stayed up till ten after one

and:

MUCH BLAME 9
Much blame is passed around just as planned
until the shit hits the big old fan
then things will get rough
enough is enough
do you understand me at all man?

**************

THE BEAUTY 1

The beauty of it all is too much
and it feels so very good to touch
it's soft and silky
and kind'a milky
so I tend to use it as my crutch

and:

THE BEAUTY 2

The beauty that's deep inside of me
may not always be easy to see
since my heart of gold
is getting so old
but things are the way that things should be

and:

THE BEAUTY 3

The beauty who gave Beast a chance
took him home and taught him to dance
then with out warning
early next morning
Beauty and The Beast found romance

and:

THE BEAUTY 4

The beauty found in the country side
makes me happy and so full of pride
nothing to regret
while watching sun set
so I just take it all in my stride

and:

THE BEAUTY 5

The beauty and glory of spring
makes my broken heart want to sing
it's such a good feeling
that might be revealing
I could be a bird on the wing

and:

THE BEAUTY 6

The beauty I saw just the other day
decided to come with me and to stay
we had a good time
and finally I'm
thinking it's time to stay out up and not stray

**************

DISEASES 1

Diseases of the sexual type
recently got a whole lot of hype
so if you're willing
take penicillin
and only eat fruit that is real ripe

and:

DISEASES 2

Diseases can take full control
they can get deep down in your soul
you just don't feel right
and can't sleep at night
there's nothing that makes you feel whole

and:

DISEASES 3

Diseases I've had in my life time
made me so sick that it was a crime
and try as I might
I still don't feel right
and can't talk so I act like a mime

and:

DISEASES 4

Diseases caught by animals do
some how seem to get passed on to you
dogs cats and cows
fish swine and fouls
get so sick they want life to be through

and:

DISEASES 5

Diseases are getting stronger these days
but they can be stopped in amazing ways
just take the right pill
and you won't feel ill
but you'll be spinning in some sort of haze

and:

DISEASES 6

Diseases have many remedies
you can get them when ever you please
but you'll pay a lot
right there on the spot
when it leaves you so weak in the knees

and:

DISEASES 7

Diseases can be controlled these days
there are many good old fashions ways
pills, syrup and meds
that go to our heads
and chicken soup served in bowls on trays

and:

DISEASES 8

Diseases seem to follow me around
when I go to the bad side of this town
I don't know why
but I can't die
and I have tried every thing I have found

**************

A PRESIDENT 1

A president is a silly man
so please won't you try to understand
he feels rejected
being elected
to sit in the office on his can

and:

A PRESIDENT 2

A president once had a secretary
that preformed sexual acts on him for free
she got on her knees
and she aimed to please
under the desk so that no one else could see

and:

A PRESIDENT 3

A president can be many things
gets to mingle with leaders like kings
through out his term
he just might squirm
if and or when the fat lady sings

and:

A PRESIDENT 4

A president is a special man
he's supposed to have a proper plan
and know what to do
to make life for you
better than ever and some what grand

and:

A PRESIDENT 5

A president gets elected they say
there's an election almost every day
in some shape or form
an office or dorm
an election takes place in some way

**************

DEVOTION 1

Devotion and devoting aren't the same
let's face it and admit it's a big game
you say you will
to get a thrill
but what's so important about a name

and:

DEVOTION 2

Devotion is simply a must
for example when you feel lust
got to see it through
and try hard to do
things like caring and showing trust

and:

DEVOTION 3

Devotion is the one thing you see
that you can not ever get from me
I won't settle down
want to run around
I got to be single and care free

and:

DEVOTION 4

Devotion isn't hard to understand
it's so important if you have a plan
to reach your goal
know in your soul
that it is time for you to take a stand

and:

DEVOTION 5

Devotion to being devoted they say
will get you through the worse times of night and day
keep your nose to the grind
and then you just might find
all things will work out for you in it's own way

and:

DEVOTION 6

Devotion to things that I do like
for example riding my Motor Bike
there is a great thrill
better than a pill
riding your Harley down the turn pike

and:

DEVOTION 7

Devotion is a good quality
you need it if you want to be free
so why take a chance
on a new romance
when you know that's not where you should be

**************

THE WEATHER 1

The weather today is real bad
all that snow out there makes me sad
there's no place to go
because of the snow
this is the worse winter I've had

and:

THE WEATHER 2

The weather here in my home town
is cold and there's snow on the ground
every things white
and very bright
can't go outside and walk around

and:

THE WEATHER 3

The weather is out of my control
to have heat I am burning some coal
also some wood
just like I should
refusing to let it take it's toll

and:

THE WEATHER 4

The weather took a turn for the worse
and all of the water pipes have burst
there's ice in the street
and it looks real neat
but now what can I do for my thirst

and:

THE WEATHER 5

The weather is a lady they say
it will change from day to day to day
I have no control
but deep in my soul
I know weather is really OK

and:

THE WEATHER 6
The weather here the past few days
changed for the worse in many ways
a lot of snow
no place to go
inside is where smart people stays

**************

COLLECTIONS 1

Collections of Silver Sols from Peru
from the mint in Lima when it was new
sit here in a folder
for when I get older
but I know they don't mean a lot to you

and:

COLLECTIONS 2

Collections of silver coins I brought home
when I was younger and I could still roam
sit safely in a box
I've a key for the locks
protected by leprechauns and some gnomes

and:

COLLECTIONS 3

Collections collected by collectors
gone over carefully by inspectors
may have some value
for me and for you
but won't pass through the metal detectors

and:

COLLECTIONS 4

Collections of things found in lobbies
put together can create hobbies
for the young and old
and now you've been told
British Police are still called Bobbies

and:

COLLECTIONS 5

Collections for sale at the mall
to me don't look right on the wall
they just hang there
why should I care
to purchase any thing I saw

and:

COLLECTIONS 6

Collections I have here with me
are mine and I'd like you to see
my coins and stamps
and all the tramps
that give it up but not for free

and:

COLLECTIONS 7

Collections that I have collected
have all been so badly neglected
they're covered with dust
and I know I must
take care of the things I've selected

and:

COLLECTIONS 8

Collections of some things from the past
taken care of will forever last
just keep them clean
know what I mean
because they go up in value fast

**************

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 1

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 2

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 3

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 4

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 5

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 6

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 7

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 8

What is a Limerick?

A Limerick is A light or humorous verse form of five chiefly anapestic verses of which lines one, two and five are of three feet and lines three and four are of two feet, with a rhyme scheme of aabba. The limerick, named for a town in Ireland of that name, was popularized by Edward Lear in his Book of Nonsense published in 1846.

************

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