A Few Limericks 6
By Jim Nasium

A Limerick: A light or humorous verse form of five chiefly anapestic verses of which lines one, two and five are of three feet and lines three and four are of two feet, with a rhyme scheme of aabba. The limerick, named for a town in Ireland of that name, was popularized by Edward Lear in his Book of Nonsense published in 1846.

A STAR 1

A star is a very strange thing
one once led some men to The King
many years ago
and I know you know
why men rejoice and angels sing

and:

A STAR 2

A star in the Hollywood sidewalk
for a young actor is all the talk
both feet and both hands
no one understands
why people like to stop and gawk

and:

A STAR 3

A star I saw through a telescope
made me feel good and gave me some hope
I don't know it's name
but I like the game
of watching stars while smoking some dope
and:

A STAR 4

A star has been named after me
the naming of that star was free
called it JFS
and I must confess
that's it's too far away to see

and another;

A STAR 5

A star has been named after me
an event that filled me with glee
they called it Jim
just on a whim
but it's too far away to see

and this last one...

A STAR 6

A star long ago once led three wise men
we've heard the story again and again
He lay in a manger
when He was a stranger
and to this day to the world He's a friend

************

A SCENE 1

A scene seen every now and then
came from some one way back when
times were much better
light as a feather
plucked from some older barn yard hen

and:

A SCENE 2

A scene that was not seen by many
was surreal and not worth a penny
there was a bright light
but that was alright
according to some guy called Benny

and:

A SCENE 3

A scene that I saw yesterday
was part of a very good play
admission was free
but only for me
so I decided that I'd stay

and:

A SCENE 4

A scene in my sons high school play
seemed like the highlight of the day
every thing went wrong
including the song
no one did anything the right way

************

IN DOUBTS 1

In doubts lie the reason we fail
it's nice to have money for bail
ya never know when
every now and then
even the strongest end up frail

and:

IN DOUBTS 2

In doubts we find that we make
things wrong and that's a mistake
so here's what to do
go try something new
like giving more than you take

and:

IN DOUBTS 3

In doubts we find that we take
things wrong and that's a mistake
so what can ya do
but try something new
like sitting down near the lake

and:

IN DOUBTS 4

In doubts we find many an excuse
maybe even while drinking some juice
our doubts are no good
is that understood
we and our doubts should create a truce

and:

IN DOUBTS 5

In doubts about what to do next
some times I think I must be hexed
being hexed can suck
I could use some luck
when reading some rather small text

************

A BOXING DAY

A Boxing Day I recently had
left me feeling empty and so sad
the boxes were free
and very empty
until I slowly packed up my pad

and:

A BOXING DAY

A Boxing Day because I'm moving again
it's a lot of work so I asked a good friend
to give me a hand
she did understand
said she'd be over but she never said when

and:

A BOXING DAY

A Boxing Day down at the arena
and I'm going with my friend Leena
she's short and sweet
has front row seats
she is latin and also muy fina

************

OUR FREEDOMS 1

Our freedoms are many they say
and we defend them every day
freedom isn't sucky
it's what makes us lucky
the good old American way

and:

OUR FREEDOMS 2

Our freedoms were not given freely
but they are there for you and for me
we will fight for the right
under sun or moon light
on the land, in the air, on the sea

and:

OUR FREEDOMS 3

Our freedoms are many but yet
many of us seem to forget
we fought for the right
to stand in the light
of truth and a freedom that's set

************

UMBRELLAS 1

Umbrellas lined up in a row
set there by an artist called Cristo
who was the first wrapper
he always looked dapper
and wrapped buildings if you didn't know

and:

UMBRELLAS 2

Umbrellas keep us from getting wet
so when it rains be sure not to forget
to bring one along
if the wind is strong
holding it with two hands is your best bet

and:

UMBRELLAS 3

Umbrellas are for women and men
even I use one every now and then
it keeps me dry
so I don't cry
keep one close because ya never know when

and:

UMBRELLAS 4

Umbrellas come real big and small
when wet they can hang up on the wall
until they dry
do you know why
they're the strangest things I ever saw

************

Big Tidal Waves 1

Big tidal waves sweep us away
and fill our fine lungs with salt spray
which makes us wet
yet we forget
if were alive it's a good day

and:

Big Tidal Waves 2

Big tidal waves churn up a lot
of sorrow and vex spot on spot
that last for days
and in some ways
makes us happy for what we got

and:

Big Tidal Waves 3

Big tidal waves churn up the guts
of Nature and soon drive lives nuts
but please don't make
any mistake
when we can all still buy some sluts

************

A YEAR 1

A year passed and nothing is new
I don't know what the hell to do
a broken man
with out a plan
feeling sad and a little blue

and:

A YEAR 2

A year has passed us both by again.
look at the Limericks I wrote my friend
I pick some subject matter
and just like the mad hatter
my muse inspires me with out end

and:

A YEAR 3

A year can be both good and bad
it can make one happy or sad
watching time fly
as days go by
thankful for all the years I had

and:

A YEAR 4

A year is a measure of time
that passes so fast it's a crime
days turn to night
and I just might
start acting a lot like a mime

and:

A YEAR 5

A year didn't change anything
my head spins and both my ears ring
seems I just can't win
so I hold it in
watching sunrise as the birds sing

and:

A YEAR 6

A year has three hundred-sixty-five days
and can change us all in so many ways
we just get older
some what less bolder
on the stage called life living out life's plays

************

A DAY 1

A day with out a report from you
only makes me and my muse real blue
your words inspire
as I perspire
until the Limericks I write are through

and:

A DAY 2

A day spent alone can be fun
a nice long walk when day is done
is good for the body
much like a hot toddy
it's too hot to walk in the sun

and:

A DAY 3

A day I will never forget
is a day I still do regret
I made a mistake
that day near the lake
as we sat and watched the sun set

and:

A DAY 4

A day unlike any day before
was the day I evened up the score
it did take some work
but I got the jerk
and will not be bothered any more

and:

A DAY 5

A day that I like to hold dear
and please let me make this real clear
comes every four years
so please have no fears
when now and then we have leap year

and:

A DAY 6

A day I will never forget
was one of the very best days yet
we spent the day
so much to say
near the lake watching the sun set

and:

A DAY 7

A day in the life of this man
maybe too hard to understand
just know what I do
I do just for you
and that I do have a set plan

and:

A DAY 8

A day has both some dark and light
it's sunny and then we have night
twelve hours each
we all want peace
and for it we're willing to fight

and:

A DAY 9

A day has but twenty-four hours
plenty of time to take long showers
and wash your head
once out of bed
then take a walk to pick some flowers

************

THE BUSINESS 1

The business at hand they say
is getting through each new day
the best you can
and maybe then
things will start to go your way

and

THE BUSINESS 2

The business of business they told me
is to get as much as you can free
plus make some money
and this is funny
always be the best that you can be

and

THE BUSINESS 3

The business is not going well
the whole idea went straight to hell
things are real rough
I've had enough
I guess it's time for me to sell

and

THE BUSINESS 4
The business you told me your in
is tuff and there's no way to win
but still you try
I don't know why
you work so hard it is a sin

and

THE BUSINESS 5

The business you told me you do
is not the best thing now for you
you need to relax
do not send that fax
just go home now your day is through

and

THE BUSINESS 6

The business world is upside down
there's just too much business around
I don't stand a chance
much like with romance
I'm lost and always act the clown

and

THE BUSINESS 7
The business I used to do
was fun but them days are through
I sit and write
into the night
and sometimes I draw now too

************

TO BLAME 1

To blame anyone but yourself they say
is wrong and I'm here to tell you today
they are so right
and they just might
be the right ones to show you the right way

and:

TO BLAME 2

To blame my muse is all I know
it's she who adds fuel to the show
she shines a light
and it's so right
I relax and go with the flow

and:

TO BLAME 3

To blame me for what just went down
makes me look like a freaking clown
tell me what did I do
I didn't mention you
you're to well known around this town

and:

TO BLAME 4

To blame me when you know it's you
is not the best thing you can do
want to try again
at least be my friend
and please don't tell me that we're through

and:

TO BLAME 5

To blame the other guy is real wrong
like the gong show they will ring the gong
you're out of here
it's not so fair
but let's face it you can't sing a song

************

PERSISTENCE 1

Persistence is one of my traits
I don't like to go out on dates
keeps me in line
when I do dine
I get senior citizen rates

and:

PERSISTENCE 2

Persistence persuaded Percy
to be a little more like me
which made me smile
all of the while
he was busy climbing a tree

and:

PERSISTENCE 3

Persistence is not a bad thing
sticking to it makes your heart sing
you reach your goal
and in your soul
you're real proud and feel like a King

and:

PERSISTENCE 4

Persistence is a good quality
and I hope you can see it in me
you know I do try
and that I know why
there are so many fish in the sea

and:

PERSISTENCE 5

Persistence or at least I have heard
is after all just another word
ya do what ya can
again and again
and even when your vision is blurred

************

THE SEXES 1

The sexes seem to fight all the time
and there is no good reason or rhyme
can't say it's not fair
they both have long hair
and can choose between lemon or lime

and:

THE SEXES 2

The sexes really have no plan
they are both hard to understand
women are from Venus
men Mars, with a penis
they'd both like to rule this great land

and:

THE SEXES 3

The sexes we all can choose from
are only two so don't act dumb
be male or female
don't put it on sale
but now and then give me a crumb

and:

THE SEXES 4
The sexes have to go through trials
that may or may not bring some smiles
it's a long road
a heavy load
to get by you got to walk miles

and:

THE SEXES 5

The sexes are the same every where
men and women just don't seem to care
they wear the same clothes
yet I do suppose
that is expect for their underwear

and:

THE SEXES 6
The sexes want freedom to hoist
a real loud and very strong voice
to make it clear
freedom is here
and no one has very much choice

and:

THE SEXES 7

The sexes get sexier each day
or at least that's what I heard them say
so what can you do
to help me and you
push ahead and find the correct way


************

AS STORMS 1

As storms pass by over this small town
it seems I'm the only one around
it's quiet and dark
here in the park
and I guess I must look like a clown
[all dressed up with no place to go]

and:

AS STORMS 2

As storms go this one's not too bad
although it has made me a bit sad
I will be OK
later on today
dressed up in polka dot and plaid
[looking like a clown]

and:

AS STORMS 3
As storms pass by and leave their mark
I feel like I'm left in the dark
don't know what to do
when I think about you
while walking alone in the park
[looking for trouble]

and:

AS STORMS 4

As storms pass by over here
it's dark and the sky's not clear
I want to hide
away inside
with every thing I hold dear
[me and my shadow]

and:

AS STORMS 5

As storms go this one's a real doozy
started over some silly floozy
don't care how ya word it
the fact is she flirted
and invited me into her jacuzzi
[what was I to do?]

and:

AS STORMS 6

As storms make a change in the weather
I felt good till I read your letter
it started with Dear
and you made it clear
things between us will not get better
[or any worse]

and

As Storms 7

As storms go this one wasn't bad
I got hurt and felt a bit sad
but now it's all right
we made up last night
the best sex that we ever had

and:

As Storms 8
As storms tend to decimate life
an old man gets another wife
to take care of him
married on a whim
her words can cut just like a knife

and:

As Storms 9

As storms come this way now and then
I'm ok if I got a friend
to stay with me
maybe we'll see
the pot of gold at rainbows end

and:

As Storms 10

As storms pass right through here with out warning
in the afternoon, evening or morning
I swallow my pride
and just stay inside
feeling so lost and some what forlorning
[forlorning: is that a word?]

and:

As Storms 11
As storms are good for the earth
I wonder what they are worth
a little rain
keeps us all sane
and starts another rebirth

************

FRESH ROSEMARY 1

fresh rosemary was a friend of mine
she had a great big fat round behind
she was good in bed
but fucked with my head
made me pay for dinner when we dine

and:

FRESH ROSEMARY 2
Fresh rosemary, parsley and thyme
go together most of the time
to wet your pallet
just make a salad
maybe add some juice from a lime

and:

FRESH ROSEMARY 3

Fresh rosemary got a mouth like a sailor
every man in this small town wants to nail her
she can cuss with the best
and I guess I'll confess
she looks real hot in black silk, with lace, and fur
[yum yum]

and:

FRESH ROSEMARY 4

Fresh rosemary adds spice to some things
seems to cause many song birds to sing
I guess it's the smell
but I just can't tell
when I'm listening to church bells ring
[ding dong]

and:

FRESH ROSEMARY 5

Fresh rosemary is sold at the store
is good for cooking and so much more
it looks kind'a funny
don't cost too much money
and comes with some interesting folk lore

************

SWEET ORANGES 1

Sweet oranges are so good for me
I used to pick them right off the tree
back in the day
I went astray
while in some places you'll never see
[welcome to the jungle]

and:

SWEET ORANGES 2

Sweet oranges are green on the tree
I tell you it is true; just ask me
full of vitamin C
so very good for me
I wish I could get oranges free
[green oranges?]

and:

SWEET ORANGES 3
Sweet oranges are a delight
and I'm thinking that I just might
go eat one now
maybe somehow
it'll help me to get through the night
[long empty nights]

and:

SWEET ORANGES 4

Sweet oranges make a great juice
I buy mine from some guy called Bruce
who runs around town
selling by the pound
from a small cart pulled by his moose
[or is that muse]

and:

SWEET ORANGES 5

Sweet oranges, grapefruit and Pineapple
a few eggs, some buttered toast and scrapple
makes a fine morning meal
just to help you to feel
your very best and not look so dapple
[your skin is gray and spotted?]

************

SOUR GRAPES 1

Sour grapes are used to make jelly
that's real sweet and good for your belly
they also make jam
to put on a ham
that burns while cooking and gets smelly

and:

SOUR GRAPES 2
Sour grapes grow on the vine
they can not be used for wine
but they have a use
to make sour juice
add some sugar they'll taste fine

and:

SOUR GRAPES 3
Sour grapes don't make a good juice
try as you might there is no use
why do they grow
I just don't know
maybe we should just call a truce

and:

SOUR GRAPES 4
Sour grapes leave a bad taste on your lips
the calories go straight to your hips
purple or white
they're just not ri
ght even when you use them in fancy dips

and:

SOUR GRAPES 5

Sour grapes leave a bad taste in your mouth
that can make you just feel like going South
to get a nice rest
and I will confess
mine were given to me by Mr. Louth

and:

SOUR GRAPES 6

Sour grapes are a lot like bad luck
when you eat them you realize they suck
so you spit them out
then begin to shout
and then you just start to run a muck

************

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 1

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 2

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 3

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 4

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 5

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 6

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 7

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 8

What is a Limerick

A Limerick is A light or humorous verse form of five chiefly anapestic verses of which lines one, two and five are of three feet and lines three and four are of two feet, with a rhyme scheme of aabba. The limerick, named for a town in Ireland of that name, was popularized by Edward Lear in his Book of Nonsense published in 1846.

************

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