A Few Limericks 2
By Jim Nasium

A Limerick: A light or humorous verse form of five chiefly anapestic verses of which lines one, two and five are of three feet and lines three and four are of two feet, with a rhyme scheme of aabba. The limerick, named for a town in Ireland of that name, was popularized by Edward Lear in his Book of Nonsense published in 1846.

MY REASONS

My reasons for doing what I do
may seem silly and stupid to you
I make my own way
don't care what they say
maybe some time you should try it too

************

Declaring 1

Declaring that dollars make sense
has proved to be near to immense
it's hard to understand
I am a simple man
whose been known to get too intense

and

Declaring 2

Declaring as 'valid' the world
has gotten me hurled, furled, and swirled
leaving me confused
real sad with the blues
but happy my hair is still curled

and

Declaring 3

Declaring that anything matters
invites us to fall into tatters
as we go along
singing a song
suddenly everything just shatters

**************

THE CHIRPINGS

The chirpings of birds in the morning
come to me as kind of a warning
at the break of day
what more can I say
the sun rise is more than adorning

and...

THE CHIRPINGS
The chirpings I often hear at dawn
don't last very long and are soon gone
once the birds are fed
they go rest their head
leaving no bread at all on my lawn

**************

CONFORMING

Conforming is something I never did well
I think authority can go straight to hell
not one of the fools
never follow rules
and yes, not conforming makes me feel quite swell

************

A Four Leaf Clover

I found a four leaf clover
that had somehow rolled over
on top of my bowl
of salad and roll
out on the cliffs of Dover...

************

A SALAD

A salad is a good thing to eat
it's better for you than any meat
be sure to say please
and ask for some cheese
with a nice dressing it can't be beat

************

THE LABORS

The labors labored every day
help make us stronger in a way
get paid by the hour
then go home to shower
you want to leave but got to stay

************

A NEWSPAPER

A newspaper once came to my door
now I have to buy one at the store
the gossip and crap
make me want to nap
and I ain't reading headlines no more

************

THE MUSIC

The music they play now'a days
irreratates me in many ways
they sing of doom
with a boom boom
I hope it's just another phase

************

THE SODAS

The sodas you buy at the store
don't taste that good any more
they give me gas
so I will pass
and I'll just drink fruit juice galore

************

THE BREAD

The bread that you can buy in the store
just don't do it for me any more
sliced just right
enriched white
I go to the bakery to score

************

HEROIC

Heroic actions can cause you much pain
being heroic some times is insane
take care of yourself
save all of your wealth
be careful you don't end up with a cane

************

PRECISION

Precision is a thing of the past
we should have know that it would not last
quality is gone
quantity lives on
and they pump them all out way too fast

************

SOME HAMS

Some hams can be bought with a bone
and they have a real nice rich tone
give me a slice
oh my it's nice
when I eat just leave me alone

************

A COMB

A comb is a funny thing indeed
you only use it when you really need
every hair in place
even on your face
becareful because they can make you bleed

and

A COMB [2]

A comb is something I don't need at all
my hair is curleier than most you saw
I just let it grow
a pony tail, ya know
I shake my head and in place it'll fall

************

Lost

I've heard that it's you who stays lost
and you do no matter the cost
hide away
every day
so cold that you're starting to frost

************

Grinding Along

They say to just keep "grinding alone"
so very happy you sing a song
but that's ok
enjoy the day
after all a day don't last that long

************

FOREVER

Forever is a long time
and I know that one day I'm
going to be
dead but so free
till then I'll just draw and write rhyme

and then there is this one...

FOREVER Two

Forever was how long you said you'd love me
but that was way back in nine-teen eighty three
where did you go
I'll never know
but I do know that things are as they should be!

************

A CHEESE

A cheese can be long or round or square
some smell so bad you wish they weren't there
some have holes
while others molds
some you can cut and some you can tear


and then there's this one

Well now it seems we both like sharp cheese
on a crisp cracker or fresh toast please
I like jack cheese too
just like you seem to
when too sharp it stinks and attracts fleas

************

"DISPOSING"

DISPOSING 1

Disposing of our trash can be tuff
they will bury it there in the ruff
tons of our trash
buried for cash
and then they go and they do some snuff

DISPOSING 2

Disposing of things I don't need
I usually do with great heed
out they will go
on with the show
and now my broken heart will bleed

************

"THE JUICES"

THE JUICES 1

The juices that come from tropical fruit
are good for you but you don't give a hoot
they taste real nice
poured over ice
and they help to take stains out of your suit

THE JUICES 2

The juices were flowing real good
exactly as I hoped they would
just wanting to cuddle
she sat in a puddle
and we did the best that we could

************

"MY ANGER"

MY ANGER 1

My anger some times get the better of me
I allow it to go ahead and run free
hine sight is twenty twenty
no sir this is not funny
but that is just the way that things seem to be

and then there's this one

MY ANGER 2

My anger will some times go away
only to return another day
even in my dreams
silly as it seems
and that's all about anger I'll say

************

SPAGHETTI

Spaghetti 1

Spaghetti is something I know all about
and of that fact I beg you please have no doubt
I eat them when I can
have them again and again
I always get the sauce all over my snout

and then there's this one...

Spaghetti 2

Spaghetti made by mama is the best
and if you would please keep all of the rest
she makes them from scratch
wips up a big batch
and I just can't eat enough I'll confess

************

"My Ignorance"

MY IGNORANCE 1

My ignorance can never be erased
when with your presents I am some times graced
I try to do my best
and yes I will confess
I can never get my shoe strings laced

and then there's this one...

MY IGNORANCE 2

My ignorance always seems to come out
I'll run when I should walk and I shout
what do I know
onward I go
forgetting to learn what life's about

************

CONFUSION

Confusion has started to set in
it's looks like i just can't win
one day at a time
alone writing rhyme
wasting time writing is not a sin

************

"A Sadness"

A SADNESS 1

A new sadness has come into my life
and I've been forced to pay a higher price
I'm sick as can be
wanting to be free
to find something that could help would be nice

A SADNESS 2

A sadness is tearing me apart
a lady I loved just broke my heart
she went away
what can I say
I'd just forget her if I were smart

A SADNESS 3

A sadness has come over me
because of something you can't see
it is deep inside
eating at my pride
but that's just the way things have to be

************

"THE TABLOIDS"

THE Tabloids 1

The tabloids are on sale every day
and you can't believe a thing that they say
they sell them real cheap
so you'll take a peep
it's best to just leave them and walk away

and then there's this one...

The Tabolids 2

The tabloids never give you the truth
they tell dark tall tales of folks like sweet Ruth
who said I forgot
when she smoked some pot
and got busted by a detective sloth

************

A CALENDAR

A Calender 1

A calendar can be made out of clay
as long as it still tells you the right day
hang it on the wall
write on it and all
to remind you of what you have to say

and then there's this one... A Calender 2

A calendar is an amazing tool
and to never use one makes you a fool
it can help you plan
and you'll feel grand
but they are all not correct as a rule

************

She: Two Limericks...

She 1

She left me all alone one sad day
but yet I know I will be ok
let her go
what's she know
about life and making her own way

** NEXT **

She said "thanks kindly for the wonderful spanking"
as she left her irons were happily clanking
she is in the pink
as her chains go clink
she makes her way down town to do daily banking

**************

THE DENTURES

The Dentures 1

The dentures are rotting in a cup
they won't stay in or even stay up
he tried some glue
but don't have a clue
because after all he's a sick pup

THE DENTURES 2

The dentures he uses look real good
they always stay in place like they should
they feel firm
eat the worm
drink tequiela as only you could

**************

THE YOGURT 1

The yogurt they eat in Peru
is different I'm telling you
smells real bad
best I had
now none of the store bought will do
and then there's this one....

THE YOGURT 2

All the yogurt you can buy in the store
it just don't do much for me any more
fruit on the bottom
I just forgot 'em
I have fresh made delivered to my door
and then there is this one...

THE YOGURT 3

The best yogurt eaten in Russia they say
will help you to live many an extra day
living to be 103
would be ok with me
I would have much more time to go out and play

**************

A STOVE

A stove can burn either wood or gas
and they used them a lot in the past
touch them not
when they're hot
the new electric cooks clean and fast...

**************

"A PIGEON"

A PIGEON #1

A pigeon goes coo coo coo
becareful not to walk in it's poo
they shit everywhere
they just don't care
what's a city dweller to do

and then there is this one...

A Pigeon 2

A pigeon taste good cooked over an open fire
until you've had one you can't call me a liar
please use use a spit
to cook and eat it
before you know it you'll burn with desire

and then there is this one...

A PIGEON 3

In Philly a pigeon is a rat on the wing
all they ever do is eat they never sing
they get in the way
every where every day
watch your head they shit on everything

**************

A GOOSE

A goose is much smaller than a moose
and since it can't fight it must call a truce
it'll just run away
fight some other day
but one thing that's for sure is it's loose...
[loose as a goose in fact]

**************

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 1

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 2

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 3

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 4

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 5

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 6

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 7

Click Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 8

What is a Limerick?

A Limerick is A light or humorous verse form of five chiefly anapestic verses of which lines one, two and five are of three feet and lines three and four are of two feet, with a rhyme scheme of aabba. The limerick, named for a town in Ireland of that name, was popularized by Edward Lear in his Book of Nonsense published in 1846.

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