A Few Limericks
by Jim Nasium


Recently I've tried my hand at Limericks
Here are a few I wrote during 9/02

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Full

When we're full we only want more
to fill up the warehouse next door
when greed takes over
rolling in clover
who cares what tomorrows has in store

************

PHENOMENAL

Phenomenal things take place
sometimes in front of my face
I think it's strange
down at the grange
but need to present my case

and...

PHENOMENAL

Phenomenal as it may seem to you
the fact of the matter is it is true
it's hard to understand
and not what I had planned
but what the hell can one guy like me do

************

AS AUTUMN 1

As autumn colors fade away
for me it's just another day
the air's got a chill
so I took a pill
and find myself starting to sway
[either me, or this room is spinning]

and...

AS AUTUMN 2

As autumn gets colder and colder
I find myself getting much older
but that's OK
some other day
I might even get a bit bolder
[but then again...]

and...

AS AUTUMN 3

As autumn turns into winter
I somehow got a big splinter
it got in my hand
it's infected man
I got to see Doctor Kintler

[asap]

and...

AS AUTUMN 4

As autumn days get shorter
there are some things I taught her
like get up at dawn
before the days gone
and wear the socks I bought her
[she's got cold feet]

************

A SPIRIT

A spirit came to me yesterday
she had a lot she wanted to say
yes, she was there
but just like air
I couldn't hold her in any way

and...

A SPIRIT

A spirit lives inside of me
when I die it will be set free
where will it go
how do I know
in time I guess I'll get to see

************

Ruth

I knew a lady called Ruth
she was wild and very uncouth
she played with my heart
tore my world apart
but I finally learned the truth

************

Some Oranges

Some Oranges I have had were green
they were sweet if ya know what I mean
they grew on a tree
it seems, just for me
I'd take them home first, to make them clean


and

Some Oranges can come in a can
how they get in there I don't understand
add water and mix
you'll get your fix
they say vitamin C is very good for a man


************

The Laundry

The Laundry is something I hate to do
and I bet that you do too
I just throw them all in
add soap and watch them spin
I mix my colors, and my whites to get through

and then there's this one:

The Laundry here is always a mess
and yes, I will confess
I mix colors with my whites
and they don't look bright
but they are clean, never the less

************

THE KNOWLEDGE they want us to learn
will only help us, in the long run to burn
there's only one truth
so what's the use
you may as well be ready when it's your turn...


burn baby burn

THE KNOWLEDGE I've learned on my own
now that all my wild oats have been sown
will help me one day
no matter what ya say
but I don't want to have to face it alone

************

Potatoes

Potatoes are real good in soup
fermented they put ya in a loop
they come with eyes
I don't know why
they can't see to jump through a hoop
and then there is this one

Potatoes come out of the ground
there's so many different kinds around
you can eat them all day
what more can I say
but eating them baked is the best way I found...

************

The Soap

The soap they sell now'a days
leaves the bath water with a haze
soap chemicals float
so please take note
to get back to the "natural way" phase

and

The Soap Two

The soap ya use to take a bath
could cause you a lot of wrath
if you drop the soap
bend over and hope
that no one will get in your path

and

The Soap Three

The Soap can be a lot of fun
soap yourself up until you're done
it feels real good
like ya knew it would
to stay clean just to stay out of the sun


************

The Drugs

The drugs that they give you to take
must surely be some kind'a mistake
they make you feel good
like you know they should
but you end up face down in the lake

and

The Drugs you can buy off the street
are strong and can make ya feel neat
you can go up or down
or you can go all around
you'd be amazed at the people you'll meet

and

The Drugs that they gave me all day
helped to keep the pain away
but they made me feel bad
I got depressed and sad
and didn't want to go out to play

************

King Kong


some ladies call me King Kong
because of my oversized dong
if I treat them right
they stay the whole night
just singing their siren song

************

At Supper

At Supper last night with you
we just didn't know what to do
so we ate and ate
it was not a fun date
and it looks like you and I are through

and

At Supper last night you got sick
after I told you not to lick
the dirty pans clean
now you know what I mean
tell me why are you so very thick?

************

A Cross

They hung the Lord on A Cross
and even though He is the boss
they nailed Him good
took what they could
for our sins He paid the cost

************

The Suffering

The Suffering cuts like a knife
the pain, the struggle the strife
is well worth it
because after bit
we'll all be in the after life

************

Some Raininess

Some Raininess must fall now and then
and as always, it will come again
just stay inside
try to hide
spend the day in your bed with a friend...

************

Style

Style is always on trial
sometimes it'll bring a smile
with dresses cut low
so much will show
for more than just awhile

************

ALLAYED

Allayed were true fears we earned
for the right to slash and burn
tearing it up all night
staying out of the light
it's about time we got a turn

************

or how about this one?

ALLAYED

Allayed were the rewards I earned
it's about time that I learned
she's really no good
so I'll hang out down the hood
it's time for the tables to turn

************

DISPLAYED

Her best features were always DISPLAYED
in the store front window where she laid
her love was for sale
she'd even make your bail
the girl was the best when she got payed

************

Share

To share is only fair
don't act like you don't care
you write all the time
your words blow my mind
yet you say you've never been there

**************

School

He recalls his days in school
always acting the fool
he wasted his time
a real low life slime
never learned the golden rule

****************

Love

Desiring love's not so bad
even though you end up sad
you do the best you can
then loose again
it's enough to drive you mad!

****************

Llama

ever seen a baby llama
nursing from it's mama
it sucks the whole tit
loving every minute of it
putting poor mama in trauma

Or maybe this one sounds better?

Llama Two

ever seen a baby llama
nursing from it's mama
it sucks the whole tit
till mom has enough of it
pulling away causing baby trauma

****************

Bride

A bride who keeps it open wide
and allows her man inside
will keep him at home
and never be alone
giving her man so much pride

****************

Drool

have you ever seen a fool droll
as he sits and plays with his tool
just as happy as can be
with a great big stiffy
paying no attention to any of the rules

**************

Clink Here To Go To: A Few Limericks

Clink Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 1

Clink Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 2

Clink Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 3

Clink Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 4

Clink Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 5

Clink Here To Go To: A Few Limericks 6

What is a Limerick

A Limerick is A light or humorous verse form of five chiefly anapestic verses of which lines one, two and five are of three feet and lines three and four are of two feet, with a rhyme scheme of aabba. The limerick, named for a town in Ireland of that name, was popularized by Edward Lear in his Book of Nonsense published in 1846.

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